A child asks, “Can I play?” and hears, “Yes.” But they’re still standing at the edge of the game. Where do they go? What do they do? When will they get a turn?
A quick rehearsal can help children turn that vague yes into a practical invitation: explain the game, offer a real playing role and say exactly when the next turn happens.
Choose a game everyone can explain
Set up a simple beanbag target game. Each player throws the beanbag towards a hoop, then passes it to the next person. Establish the order before adding a fictional newcomer.
Use puppets or fictional names rather than asking children to recreate a real disagreement. Check that there’s enough room, suitable equipment and a genuine playing role for one more person.
Children can watch your model, practise with a partner or join with teacher support. Pictures, gestures and a child’s usual AAC can help communicate the game, role and turn. This flexible approach reflects government guidance on modelling respectful interactions and supporting different ways to participate.
Show what comes after yes
Begin with the shortest version:
“Can I play?”
“Yes.”
Pause and ask, “What does the new player still need to know?” Then model a clearer reply:
“Yes. We’re taking turns throwing the beanbag into the hoop. You can be the next thrower after Mia. Would you like to play or watch first?”
Move aside and show the throwing place. Now the newcomer knows how the game works, what they can do and when their turn will come. Exploring practical strategies for respectful relationships fits the Years 1–2 Health and Physical Education curriculum.
Let the answer change what happens
Work through several possible answers. If the newcomer says, “Yes, please,” Mia takes her throw and the newcomer receives the promised turn. The invitation becomes real when the group follows through.
If the child says, “I’ll watch first,” the inviter can simply answer, “Okay.” Don’t assign a later turn unless the child chooses to join. If the answer is “No thanks,” “Okay” is still enough; the game continues without persuasion.
Watching is the child’s choice, not the only role offered. They don’t have to accept, make eye contact or agree to touch. Asking for, giving and declining permission respectfully is also part of Years 1–2 HPE learning.
Make the offered turn possible
A named role won’t help if the child can’t readily take part. If the existing throwing distance is difficult, agree on a closer line or offer a suitable alternative beanbag. Then update the invitation: “We’re throwing from this line. You can throw after Mia.” Let the child indicate what works for them.
Government guidance on inclusive and adaptive physical activity recommends adjusting equipment, rules and playing areas. Offering an achievable turn brings the child into the game; routinely sending a newcomer to collect equipment leaves them outside the play.
Try it, then change one thing
In pairs, children rehearse an invitation and response using the established game. You might represent Mia so the turn order stays clear. Ask, “What changed in the second invitation?” and “Which words told the new player what to do and when?”
Listen for four details: an explanation of the game, an accessible playing role, a clear next turn and a respectful response to the child’s choice. Record the words and actions you notice: “Said ‘after Mia’, moved aside to show the throwing place and passed the beanbag after Mia’s throw.” That’s more useful than writing “is a good friend”.
Let each pair improve one unclear part and, if the invitation is accepted, play through the promised turn. Revisit the invitation in another familiar game and notice which details children explain without prompting. Respectful relationship learning develops through ongoing teaching and practice.
Return to invitations in your friendship lessons
For more friendship scenarios and discussion prompts, try the Friendship Unit – Foundation–Year 2. The beanbag rehearsal above is a separate activity.
Finish with each pair’s revised invitation and follow-through. When the child knows what they can do and when their turn comes, there’s a clear next step into the game.